True fruitfulness?

I have had a narrow mindset of success since I was a student. Get your As, and you are good. Get a well paying job, and you are set for life.

The same goes for understanding fruitfulness in a Christian and a broader stroke, in ministry. God is with you, that’s why you have a prospering business. God is with you, that’s why you have a large number of online followers. God is with you, that’s why you have a megachurch. God is with you that’s why your church plant or ministry is growing. More often than not, we equate the thriving success we see to God’s blessing or His presence in it. However, recently I felt this mindset challenged.

I have heard pastors saying if God is with you, He will give you the platform, the success, the fruitfulness, etc. I strongly believed it. So when everything that I felt God led me to do fell flat, I felt like a failure. I had this sense of failure again ever since the sudden dip in my readership on my other website, and this website isn’t taking off (I haven’t been marketing it much because I didn’t think it was time to promote it to the world. And I secretly hope God will be widening its reach without my efforts.). Later I realised big brother alogorithm might be the culprit.

In any case, I thought I was delusional. Was it all along my voice and not God’s? Was it all my desire that was speaking louder than God’s will?

I believe God will bless our output, like Daniel in the bible, but I think it’s more complicated than that. God blessed Joseph, but not after an attempted murder on his life, or being thrown in jail in injustice. So does God only come in at the end and not with Joseph throughout?

Events in recent years got me thinking. It seems natural to believe God is with the megachurches and their senior pastors because of how they are growing. Growing means fruitfulness right? It seems like God is blessing them until God reveals the cracks in recent scandals.

Or Christians growing in influence in the secular world, such as public figures like politicians and artists. They seem to be blessed and honouring God by constantly sharing testimony and giving God glory on their platforms. However, a few times my eyes were unveiled to see them as showcases of seeds without roots (Matthew 13:20-21).

As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away

Matthew 13:20-21 (ESV)

Even when business owners proclaim that God is at the steering wheel in their prospering business, they might in reality continue to indulge in their sinful ways and shove integrity aside. They might just be praying to God like how other business owners pray to idols and using fengshui. Many successful and profit-making business owners are not Christians either.

There are of course many genuine blessings over Christians, ministries, megachurches, and businesses. However, I used to overgeneralise and looked mainly at the outward blessings to determine the presence and blessings of God. But God knows, a hidden missionary with a messy ministry might be producing longer lasting fruits than a well oiled ministry hitting KPIs.

So these are all revelations to me too. It’s a reminder to be more discerning when I look at others, and more importantly, to not judge my walk with God and determine my fruitfulness based on how He is blessing me in secular measures. God prioritises His work in us more than the work of us because He loves us.

A missionary shared on IG how someone encouraged her greatly (paraphrased): the person sowed into her not to start and grow big projects to hit KPIs, but to see God growing in her so that she can bless others with her story. And I do see it. I saw her insights of God going deeper when she is stripped of her success and fame in a foreign land.

Hence, we might just bless more people than we think. When our inward fruitfulness is more abundant than we thought, it shines forth like a lighthouse as a testimony.

As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.”

Matthew 13:23 (ESV)

I pray that the inward fruitfulness in you will grow so that you will be a testimony and blessing to many.

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