I thought of four online “conversations” I had this week, and they were all “已读不回”. I googled the English translation and found an internet slang for it. According to dictionary.com, “A person is left on read when a recipient has read a sender’s message but not replied to it. The expression is often used to express feeling ignored.”
Left on read, left alone.
One message was my deep heartfelt sharing, another was me sharing my heart and blueprint of ministry work, another was an interview request for this website, and lastly reaching out to a friend who has just given birth. My first instinct was that I was ignored. In my growing-up years, I felt unheard. My voice muzzled until I grew up self-censoring my volume or voice, thinking nobody would want to hear them. The more I opened my heart, the more I was reluctant to follow up because I was “rejected” once without reply. I only dared to follow up on the last two “conversations”, even then I contemplated whether I would be a bother.
Recently I was reminded again to renew my mind with the scriptures. I had to reject the thought of being unheard and rejected and open up my perspective – it could be because they were too busy to reply on the spot and forgot to answer, or some other reasons that didn’t equate to them ignoring me.
Unanswered Prayers
I wondered why I was led to share this. Then God reminded me how I had assumed He had left me alone too, left me on read with unanswered prayers. He heard, but He didn’t answer as I expected. This thought brought me back to two questions someone from church asked me (paraphrased):
Her: Do you remember the times when God answered your prayers? Hold on to them.
Me: (Silence. I was thinking hard but there’s no one wow moment in recent memory.) He has been good, but no one particular one that stood out.
Her: God loves you very much.
Me: Hmm.. (I had a face of doubt)
Her: You do know that right – God loves you?
Me: I know (in my mind), but I am not deeply convicted (in my heart).
Perhaps I didn’t feel loved because I felt unheard by God. I know this is not true and I have already told myself in my previous post to renew my mind about God’s love for me. Well, it’s an ongoing lesson.
“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.
“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you,
John 15:10-11 (NKJV)
and that your joy may be full.
Answered Prayers
But the more I thought about the unanswered prayers, the more I saw how I misunderstood God. I was blinded to His faithfulness. God has been consistently faithful to me in quiet and small ways. So I decided to clear God’s name with the following lengthy paragraph – to call to remembrance His goodness and faithfulness.
I have considered the days of old,
Psalm 77:5-6 (NKJV)
The years of ancient times.
I call to remembrance my song in the night;
I meditate within my heart,
And my spirit makes diligent search.
It’s also to share how if we look hard enough in our lives, we will see His hands at work, like His silent presence in the book of Esther. I don’t really have those bombastic prayer-answered testimonies you see during church or Christian TV shows. I will take one event as an overarching example of my journey:
I was diagnosed with a mysterious illness when I was pregnant. The doctors weren’t sure how to treat it, but they used a related treatment and it worked. However, that’s not excluding lumbar puncture and many weekly antibiotics and x-rays I had to undergo when I was pregnant. I prayed for a miraculous healing so that I wouldn’t need to go through the pain of the medical procedures and the anxiety of how my baby would be affected, but I didn’t get that prayer answered. But I did get healed in the end even though the nurse thought I might die, and my baby is now old enough to have people tell me she is mature beyond her age. And this was just before COVID – so at least there wasn’t a lack of doctors to look into my lungs.
And another one: I haven’t been getting a salary for a decade, but somehow God sustained me in subtle creative ways – not through my prayer of surprise envelopes of money.
God Cares because He Loves
This morning before I wrote this post, I came across this Instagram reel from @daily.prophetic, “Just because God isn’t talking to you doesn’t mean He isn’t talking about you. He has heard your every prayer and is having conversations about you behind your back. Soon you’ll see how everything has been prepared, positions and aligned for your future.”
Then this morning I also came across a sermon video titled ‘The unloved woman‘ by Dr RT Kendall, a pastor I have never seen before. He preached about Leah, being unloved by her husband and father, and feeling rejected. And about unfulfilled promises, deluded/delayed/divine significance. He went on to say about how when we have nothing to live for and when God allows things to happen that we don’t understand, our first reaction is to say, ‘God just doesn’t care.’
I learned something last week, we often come up with a plan and ask Him to bless it, and if He doesn’t make it come to pass, we think He is not listening and not answering our prayers. However, it’s likely His plan is better than ours or He is just waiting for the right time to bring the plan to fruition.
Dr RT Kendall sang a song, and may it bless you too. (Youtube/Spotify)
Does Jesus Care
Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth and song?
When the burdens press
And the cares distress
And the way grows weary and long?Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares (His heart)
His heart is touched with my grief
When the days are weary
The long night dreary
I know my Savior caresDoes Jesus care when my way is dark
With a nameless dread and fear?
And as the daylight fades
Into deep dark shades
Does He care enough to be near?Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares
His heart is touched with my grief
When the days are weary
The long night dreary
I know my Savior caresWhen we live long enough we finally begin to understand
What these songs are saying
Does Jesus care
When I’ve tried and failed
To resist some temptation strong?
When for my deep grief there’s no relief
Though the tears flow all the day longOh yes, He cares, I know He cares
His heart is touched with my grief
When the days are weary
The long night dreary
I know my Savior caresDoes Jesus care when I’ve said, “Goodbye”
To the dearest on earth to me
And my sad heart aches
Till it nearly breaks
Is it aught to Him? Does He see?Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares
Songwriters: J. Lincoln Hall / Frank E. Graeff
His heart is touched with my grief
When the days are weary
The long night dreary
I know my Savior cares
I know my Savior cares…
If today you feel that God doesn’t care, and you feel unloved because you feel unheard by God, know that this is not the truth. This is truth to meditate on: God loves you and He cares about you.Remember, for God so loved you, that He gave His one and only Son to die a violent death on the cross so that you shall not perish but have an abundant life here on earth and in eternity.
Leave a comment or send a message if these words speak to you. Or if you need a prayer or encouragement.
Get updates on new posts and other happenings on Telegram, Instagram or Facebook. You can also subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. If you like what you read here, keep it going with small support. 🙂
Disclaimer: Shema-Rhema.com and its authors accept no liability (whether in tort or contract or otherwise) for any loss or damage arising from any use, misuse, inaccuracy or omission of the information or other contents published on this website.
Discover more from Shema Rhema
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.