But have not love

I read my bible. I attended church.

I stepped out in faith. I sacrificed.

I went through breaking, valleys and refining fire. 

I started faith projects for His kingdom. I prayed and expected God to bless these projects and expect Him to do so because of my abovementioned faithfulness and holiness. Now, I should be humbled enough for my promotion, right? (I know that doesn’t sound humble. Arrogance speaking.)

Not so fast… God went deeper and peeled another layer – but I have not love. He revealed through a few things and incidents.

But among others, the sermon by Ps Timothy Keller on 1 Corinthians 13 was a big slap to my mind.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

In the description box of the sermon: “If a person is gifted – as many of the Corinthians were – then it is frighteningly easy for that person to mistake their spiritual gifts for spiritual fruit. When we serve others in the church, are we serving Jesus or ourselves?”

Ps Tim Keller’s testimony: “I’ve got a gift of speaking. I learned that and I know it as a fact, that if I am cold toward God and full of self-pity, and may be bitter and angry to other people and filled with selfishness, if I get up in front of a crowd, there’s something about the situation that draws my gift out. And people are helped and this is the danger.”

And I thought of Ravi Zacharias. He was a great teacher but turned out to be a predator. Public life doesn’t reflect private life. With so many exposes on spiritual leaders these days, this is a good reminder not to judge by the appearance. Ultimately, God is the one we should look up to.

I was reminded of Christians doing miracles. Now I am careful not to assume such acts as a measure of spiritual maturity or God’s favour. Watch Ps Tim’s sermon to understand why. Ultimately, love is better than miracles.

God revealed my heart towards the poor. I am ashamed of my nonchalance to some people on the streets. Sometimes I don’t know how, sometimes I don’t have the courage. In any case, I don’t have enough love to step up and out of my comfort zone. I know folks who have the heart to go to great lengths to help the marginal groups and the homeless.

God revealed my heart towards the rich. I don’t intuitively see the people past the money. My inferiority hindered me from reaching out to them or their broken hearts.

God revealed my heart towards my children. I get angry at them for selfish reasons. For example, if they go past bedtime, I get angry and scold them largely because it eats into my me-time.

He revealed my heart towards people. I get angry because of selfishness and self-entitlement. For example, he should give way, not me.

He revealed my heart for myself. I don’t love myself because I am harsh towards myself. I don’t accept my imperfections and beat myself over small things. I don’t believe in myself and self-sabotage.

In a twist, He revealed His heart to me. Only when I truly know the love He has for me, my heart will be fully transformed. Only then, will love overflow from the inside out. We love to the extent of how much we know we are loved.�

Do you know the extent of His love for you? The love He has for us is the same He has for Jesus. Quoting Ps Martyn Lloyd-Jones, “Because we are in Christ, God loves us as he loves his Son. We share in the same intimate love and fellowship that Jesus has always enjoyed with the Father.”

We love Him because He first loved us. 

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 

And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

‭I John 4:19

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