Why me?

When I heard the myopic progression of my elder daughter, I felt defeated. I told the eye doctor that I felt my efforts were all futile. I tried so hard to slow down the progression and yet it has worsened so much. “Why, Lord?” I questioned this even louder when I compared her to other children with more screen time and less outdoor time.

Then the eye doctor pointed out that reading books and colouring are near work that affects eyesight too. I didn’t know better. She also said genetics play a huge part – both of us have myopia, with my husband having it since preschool and with a super high degree as he aged. It felt even more like a futile fight against the cards stacked against us.

Why us? Why me?

“Why me?” This is usually asked when something bad has happened to us.

“Why not me?” This is usually asked when something good has happened to someone else.

We don’t instinctively ask “Why me?” when something good happens to us. Or “Why not me?” when something bad happens to someone else. I thought of this peer who is thriving in many things I felt God had put in my heart to do. Many times, I asked, “Why not me, God?” Then recently she went through quite a bit of trial, and I didn’t ask “Why not me?”. Many times we want other people’s successes and conveniently forget that we had to bear the burdens and battles that surround the successes.

I started to comfort myself — at least she’s not blind, and at least we have a good healthcare system to check the young eyes and intervene early. And I should give myself a little more credit, things could have been worse if there had been more screen time during her preschool years.

I should also cut myself some slack because some things are just out of my control. I recalled scenarios where

active and healthy men had sudden heart attacks and fell dead (why not me, I never ask).

Or that time when I suddenly had a major illness for no reason and the doctors didn’t know why too (why me, I ask).

Or people struck with COVID-19 no matter how masked up they are and how much they stay indoors, and not the one unmasked outdoors.

Or the smoker outliving a non-smoker.

Or the person who eats unhealthily outliving the person who exercises and eats clean.

Or the person following traffic rules is injured or dead during a traffic accident but not the person flouting the rules.

Or the person who worked and saved hard all his life, only to lose the fortune to someone else in a scam under a few minutes.

Or the criminal goes scot free and the victim lives the rest of the life in duress.

Or the hardworking worker or artiste hidden in obscurity, but the one who knows how to talk or play the way through life basks in the limelight.

The list can go on and on about the unfairness, grievances and injustices of life.

My point is that we try our best to live responsibly and love well –

to take care and honour our bodies which are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19),

steward what we have been given well (be it work, finances or relationships), and

be moral and not bring harm to people around us,

but ultimately God has dealt each of us with different set of cards. We each have our journey to take – the different battles to fight, and different victories to collect.

I returned and saw under the sun that—

The race is not to the swift,
Nor the battle to the strong,
Nor bread to the wise,
Nor riches to men of understanding,
Nor favor to men of skill;
But time and chance happen to them all.

For man also does not know his time:
Like fish taken in a cruel net,
Like birds caught in a snare,
So the sons of men are snared in an evil time,
When it falls suddenly upon them.

Ecclesiastes 9:11-12 (NKJV)

Did you lament to God recently – about a piece of bad news, misfortune or disappointment? I pray that you and I will look at them through the lens of God and not our own. Cast them unto God and let Him make everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Get updates on new posts and other happenings on Telegram, Instagram or Facebook. You can also subscribe to get email notifications of new posts. If you like what you read here, keep it going with small support. 🙂

Disclaimer: Shema-Rhema.com and its authors accept no liability (whether in tort or contract or otherwise) for any loss or damage arising from any use, misuse, inaccuracy or omission of the information or other contents published on this website.